批改符号说明：

绿底为优美，黄底为瑕疵，红底为错字（括号里边为间批），中间横线为删除，^{上标符号添加字}，文下隔行写点评，点评内容用红字，红双线“‖”处段另起（分段）.

 

Mid Autumn Festival

发布时间：2013-01-09 21:55:27 作者：曾泽楠  发布者：527267874 浏览次数：3306  类别：英文作文   优秀指数：★★

 

　　Mid Autumn Festival is a traditional festival of China. It used to be as important as Spring Festival .It is usually celebrated in September or October. This festival is to celebrate the harvest and to enjoy the beautiful moon light. To some extent, it is like Thanks Giving day in western countries. On this day, people usually get together with their families and have a nice meal. After that, people always eat delicious moon cakes, and watch the moon. The moon is always very round on that day, and makes people think of their relatives and friends. It is a day of pleasure and happiness. Hope you have a wonderful Mid Autumn festival!
    Mid-Autumn Day,all the country is celebrating. The streets are full of people, the loves are holding each other tightily.Everyone has his day.However,I am lonely.No one to hold,no one to kiss,no ont to talk!

    I was walking around the street without purpose,seeing the lovers kissing,watching the fireworkes alone,walking backe room whist.

　　Suddenly,i think i must be good to myself.So i decied to bue a present to myself.I know I will be good soon,and will find my Mr.Right.So tonight, a little teddy bear will sleep with me.And i know:i will have another teddy bear as a present that not bought from myself!!!

 

• 批改教师：王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
  批改时间：2013/1/10 14:32:35
  点评指数：
  点评内容：
  

   

  　　Mid Autumn Festival is a traditional festival of China. It ^was （be used to，固定句式，意为“曾经......”）used to be as important as Spring Festival .It is usually celebrated in September or October. This festival is to celebrate the harvest and to enjoy the beautiful moon light.（moonlight是一个词） To some extents, it is like Thanks Giving day （Thanksgiving Day）in western countries. On this day, people usually get together with their families and have a nice meal. After that, people always eat delicious moon cakes,（mooncake是一个词） and watch （watch一般用来看动的东西）the moon.（enjoy beautiful moonlight，赏月） The moon is always very round on that day, and makes people think of their relatives and friends. It is a day of pleasure and happiness. Hope you have a wonderful Mid Autumn（Mid-autumn） festival!
      Mid-Autumn Day,all the country is celebrating.（习惯性动作，用一般现在时态，celebrates） The streets are full of people, the loves （lovers）are holding （hug with,hug为“拥抱”的意思）each other tightily.Everyone has his day.However,I am lonely.No one to hold,（hug）no one to kiss,^and no ont （one）to talk ^with!

      I was walking around the street without purpose,seeing the lovers kissing,watching the fireworkes alone,^and walking backe room whist.

  　　Suddenly,i think i must be good to myself.So i decied to bue （buy）a present to （for，buy sth.for sb.为某人买某物）myself.I know I will be good soon,and will find my Mr.Right.So tonight, a little teddy bear will sleep with me.（这话得放到I...a present的后面）And i know:i will have another teddy bear as a present that ^will not ^be bought from (by）myself!!!

  点评：1.本文看似一篇介绍中秋节的说明文，但是在第二、三段话题一转，抒发中秋夜孤独的情感。仿佛作者在那个夜晚静静行走的所思所想，十足的意识流式写法。2.关于那个Mr.Rirght，我想说，大学里没有恋爱的人并不都辜负了大学的美好时光，恋爱了的也不一定有什么好结果。有句话说“毕业那天，我们集体失恋”，说的很有道理，所以勿跟风谈恋爱。3.本文构思不错，但是对话的顺序、词语掌握不是很好，望今后注意。

   

• 批改教师：李晨超 ( )
  批改时间：2013/2/1 11:33:14
  点评指数：★★
  点评内容：
  

   

  　　Mid Autumn Festival is a traditional festival of China. It ^was （be used to，固定句式，意为“曾经......”）used to be as important as Spring Festival .It is usually celebrated in September or October. This festival is to celebrate the harvest and to enjoy the beautiful moon light.（moonlight是一个词） To some extents, it is like Thanks Giving day （Thanksgiving Day）in western countries. On this day, people usually get together with their families and have a nice meal. After that, people always eat delicious moon cakes,（mooncake是一个词） and watch （watch一般用来看动的东西）the moon.（enjoy beautiful moonlight，赏月） The moon is always very round on that day, and makes people think of their relatives and friends. It is a day of pleasure and happiness. Hope you have a wonderful Mid Autumn（Mid-autumn） festival!
      Mid-Autumn Day,all the country is celebrating.（习惯性动作，用一般现在时态，celebrates） The streets are full of people, the loves （lovers）are holding （hug with,hug为“拥抱”的意思）each other tightily.Everyone has his day.However,I am lonely.No one to hold,（hug）no one to kiss,^and no ont （one）to talk ^with!

      I was walking around the street without purpose,seeing the lovers kissing,watching the fireworkes alone,^and walking backe room whist.

  　　Suddenly,i think i must be good to myself.So i decied to bue （buy）a present to （for，buy sth.for sb.为某人买某物）myself.I know I will be good soon,and will find my Mr.Right.So tonight, a little teddy bear will sleep with me.（这话得放到I...a present的后面）And i know:i will have another teddy bear as a present that ^will not ^be bought from (by）myself!

  点评：此情此景，每个人都会有所感悟。做好自己，提升自己。你身上散发的光环会吸引MrRight找到你的。珍贵的礼物由自己买才会心安理得。加油，让自己变得更美好······

• 批改教师：周绍芬 ( 山东省 >> 临沂市 >> 罗庄区 >> 黄山镇 >> 黄山镇英语备课组 )
  批改时间：2013/2/16 10:48:49
  点评指数：
  点评内容：
  

  Mid Autumn Festival is a traditional festival of China. It ^was （be used to，固定句式，意为“曾经......”）used to be as important as Spring Festival .It is usually celebrated in September or October. This festival is to celebrate the harvest and to enjoy the beautiful moon light.（moonlight是一个词） To some extents, it is like Thanks Giving day （Thanksgiving Day）in western countries. On this day, people usually get together with their families and have a nice meal. After that, people always eat delicious moon cakes,（mooncake是一个词） and watch （watch一般用来看动的东西）the moon.（enjoy beautiful moonlight，赏月） The moon is always very round on that day, and makes people think of their relatives and friends. It is a day of pleasure and happiness. Hope you have a wonderful Mid Autumn（Mid-autumn） festival!
      Mid-Autumn Day,all the country is celebrating.（习惯性动作，用一般现在时态，celebrates） The streets are full of people, the loves （lovers）are holding （hug with,hug为“拥抱”的意思）each other tightily.Everyone has his day.However,I am lonely.No one to hold,（hug）no one to kiss,^and no ont （one）to talk ^with!

      I was walking around the street without purpose,seeing the lovers kissing,watching the fireworkes alone,^and walking backe room whist.

  　　Suddenly,i think i must be good to myself.So i decied to bue （buy）a present to （for，buy sth.for sb.为某人买某物）myself.I know I will be good soon,and will find my Mr.Right.So tonight, a little teddy bear will sleep with me.（这话得放到I...a present的后面）And i know:i will have another teddy bear as a present that ^will not ^be bought from (by）myself!!!

   点评： 要多读书哦！