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Taking Cell-phones to school

发布时间：2013-01-09 21:59:27 作者：曾泽楠  发布者：527267874 浏览次数：4351  类别：英文作文  

   Now in the country areas, there are many children out of school. I think one of the reasons is that their families are too poor to afford their school. As a result, they have to stay at home to make money to keep their families. Another reason is that many parents think it useless for the girls to study and they would not like them to go to school. A third reason is that some children are not interested in their lessons, and would not like to go to school.

   In my opinion all the children including the girls should have the chance to receive education. All the people should pay attention to the education of the children who will play a very important part in the future of our country.

   Taking Cell-phones to school can help us taling with parents and our friends. & it can also kill our time , make more fun.But, using cell phones on the lessons will influence others. Talking by phones, or sending mails will waste a lot of money.
so , i suggest us turn off out cell phones when we r in school. The phones are expensive, so we must be careful with it.

   However, there are some problems with using mobile phones. The ring of phones can disturb teachers and students in the classroom. Another problem is that some students can spend too much time and money on phone calls and sending messages.

　　In conclusion, I suggest students not use phones in the classroom. Also, as it is expensive, the owner should take good care of it.

• 批改教师：王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
  批改时间：2013/1/10 14:56:51
  点评指数：
  点评内容：
  

     Now in the country areas, there are many children out of school. I think one of the reasons is that their families are too poor to afford their school. As a result, they have to stay at home to make money to keep their families. Another reason is that many parents think it useless for the girls to study and they would not like them to go to school. A third reason is that some children are not interested in their lessons, and would not like to go to school.
  
     In my opinion all the children including the girls should have the chance to receive education. All the people should pay attention to the education of the children who will play a very important part in the future of our country.（题目是"Taking cell-phones to school，前两段与此何干？）

     Taking Cell-phones to school can help us taling with parents and our friends. &  （and，不能用符号代替）it can also kill our time , make more fun. （Although taking cell-phones to schollcan help us contact with parents and have fun,it also can kill our time）But,(What's more） using cell phones on the lessons （in class，在课上）will influence others. Talking by phones, or sending mails （短信，text messages）will waste a lot of money.
  so , i suggest us turn off out cell phones when we r （are）in school. The phones are expensive, so we must be careful with it.
  
     However, there are some problems with using mobile phones. The ring of phones can disturb teachers and students in the classroom. Another problem is that some students can spend too much time and money on phone calls and sending messages. （和上文重复）
  
  　　In conclusion, I suggest students not use phones in the classroom. Also, as it is expensive, the owner should take good care of it.
  文章混乱，重复太多。
  
  
  

• 批改教师：李晨超 ( )
  批改时间：2013/2/9 19:33:36
  点评指数：
  点评内容：
  

     Now in the country areas, there are many children out of school. I think one of the reasons is that their families are too poor to afford their school. As a result, they have to stay at home to make money to keep their families. Another reason is that many parents think it useless for the girls to study and they would not like them to go to school. A third reason is that some children are not interested in their lessons, and would not like to go to school.
  
     In my opinion all the children including the girls should have the chance to receive education. All the people should pay attention to the education of the children who will play a very important part in the future of our country.

     Taking Cell-phones to school can help us taling（talking) with parents and our friends. & it can also kill （save)our time , make more fun.But, using cell phones on the lessons will influence others. Talking by phones, or sending mails will waste a lot of money.
  so , i suggest us turn off out cell phones when we r （we're)in school. The phones are expensive, so we must be careful with it.
  
     However, there are some problems with using mobile phones. The ring of phones can disturb teachers and students in the classroom. Another problem is that some students can spend too much time and money on phone calls and sending messages.
  
  　　In conclusion, I suggest students not use phones in the classroom. Also, as it is expensive, the owner should take good care of it.
  

  点评：
   写完文章后，自己没有读吧？前两段属于突发奇想？两篇作文写一起了？前两段表达的是教育平等，每个人都有受教育的权利，后三段表述了学生是否可以带手机上学。观点明确，期待能读到更多关于你的亲笔，加油！要细心哦。
  

• 批改教师：周绍芬 ( 山东省 >> 临沂市 >> 罗庄区 >> 黄山镇 >> 黄山镇英语备课组 )
  批改时间：2013/2/10 17:08:55
  点评指数：
  点评内容：
  

  
  
  Now in the country areas, there are many children out of school. I think one of the reasons is that their families are too poor to afford their school. As a result, they have to stay at home to make money to keep their families. Another reason is that many parents think it useless for the girls to study and they would not like them to go to school. A third reason is that some children are not interested in their lessons, and would not like to go to school.
  
     In my opinion all the children including the girls should have the chance to receive education. All the people should pay attention to the education of the children who will play a very important part in the future of our country.（题目是"Taking cell-phones to school，前两段与此何干？）

     Taking Cell-phones to school can help us taling with parents and our friends. &  （and，不能用符号代替）it can also kill our time , make more fun. （Although taking cell-phones to schollcan help us contact with parents and have fun,it also can kill our time）But,(What's more） using cell phones on the lessons （in class，在课上）will influence others. Talking by phones, or sending mails （短信，text messages）will waste a lot of money.
  so , i suggest us turn off out cell phones when we r （are）in school. The phones are expensive, so we must be careful with it.
  
     However, there are some problems with using mobile phones. The ring of phones can disturb teachers and students in the classroom. Another problem is that some students can spend too much time and money on phone calls and sending messages. （和上文重复）
  
  　　In conclusion, I suggest students not use phones in the classroom. Also, as it is expensive, the owner should take good care of it.