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My favouritte season
发布时间:2013-03-07 18:25:32 作者:陈永娟  发布者:chenyongjuan 浏览次数:3048  类别:英文作文   优秀指数:★★★
[小学五年级] 山东省 >> 临沂市 >> 罗庄区 >> 黄山镇 >> 黄山镇中心小学


Hi.I'm a girl.I'm Chen yongjuan.Now I am in Grade 5.My favourite season is spring.Because spring is windy and warm.I can plant trees and fly kites.I like fall and winter too.Because fall is cool and windy.The sky is very blue.The leaves are clourful.Because in winter I can skate and make a snowman.I like spring fall and winter very much.

教师点评:
  • 批改教师:郝文越 ( 山西省 >> 晋中市 >> 平遥县 >> 中都乡 >> 中都乡桥头小学 )
    批改时间:2013/3/7 19:07:33
    点评指数:★★
    点评内容:

    Hi.I'm a girl.I'm Chen yongjuan(Chen  Yongjuan).Now I am in Grade 5.My favourite season is spring.Because spring is windy and warm.I can plant trees and fly kites.//(在这里分段比较好一点)I like fall and winter too.Because fall is cool and windy.The sky is very blue.The leaves are clourful.Because in winter I can skate and make a snowman.//(最后总结)I like spring fall and winter very much.

  • 批改教师:王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
    批改时间:2013/3/7 22:05:43
    点评指数:
    点评内容:

    Hi.I'm a girl.I'm Chen yongjuan.Now I am in Grade 5.(和主题关联不大,删掉)My favourite season is spring.Because spring is windy and warm.I can plant trees and fly kites.I like fall and winter too.Because fall is cool and windy.The sky is very blue.The leaves are clourful.(colourfulBecause in winter I can skate and make a snowman.I like spring fall and winter very much.

    点评:****句话上次就说了,把它删掉,作文的字数多是文笔和感情自然流露,紧扣主题,不是凑来的。语言错误已经标出。

  • 批改教师:杜宝红 ( 山东省 >> 泰安市 >> 岱岳区 >> 泰山菁华双语学校 )
    批改时间:2013/3/8 16:34:47
    点评指数:
    点评内容:

    Hi.I'm a girl.I'm Chen yongjuan Yongjuan.Now I am in Grade 5.My favourite season is spring.Because spring is windy and warm.I can plant trees and fly kites.But I like fall and winter too.Because fall is cool and windy.The sky is very blue.The leaves are clourful colourful.Because And in winter I can skate and make a snowman snowmen.I like spring ,fall and winter very much,but spring is my favourite!

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