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绿底为优美，黄底为瑕疵，红底为错字（括号里边为间批），中间横线为删除，^{上标符号添加字}，文下隔行写点评，点评内容用红字，红双线“‖”处段另起（分段）.

 

In my room

发布时间：2013-03-11 18:30:48 作者：陈永娟  发布者：chenyongjuan 浏览次数：3922  类别：英文作文   优秀指数：★★★★

I have my own room now.There is a new closet,a new mirror and a bed in my room.There are two blue curtains and two end tables.The computer is on the desk.The books are on the shelf.There are two end tables near the bed.The mirror is on the tables.The trash bin is behind the door.The closet is near the endtables.Many clothes are in the closet.There is a picture over the bed.The shelf is near the closet.I love my new room very much.

• 批改教师：王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
  批改时间：2013/3/11 22:00:26
  点评指数：★★
  点评内容：
  

  I have my own room now.There is a new closet,a new mirror and a bed in my room.There are two blue curtains and two end tables.The computer is on the desk.The books are on the shelf.There are two end tables near the bed.The mirror is on the tables.The trash bin is behind the door.The closet is near the endtables.Many clothes are in the closet.There is a picture over the bed.The shelf is near the closet.I love my new room very much.Do you like my room?Whas's your room like?Can you tell me,please?

  点评：文章这下可以了，再注意下写作顺序，例如从上到下，从内到外，从窗前到墙角等。

• 批改教师：李晨超 ( )
  批改时间：2013/3/14 15:04:59
  点评指数：
  点评内容：
  

    I have my own room now.There is a new closet,a new mirror and a bed in my room.There are two blue curtains and two end tables.The computer is on the desk.The books are on the shelf.There are two end tables near the bed.The mirror is on the tables.The trash bin is behind the door.The closet is near the endtables.Many clothes are in the closet.There is a picture over the bed.The shelf is near the closet.

    I love my new room very much.Do you like my room?Whas's your room like?Can you tell me,please?

  点评 ：I love your room ,too.

• 批改教师：王天艳 ( 山东省 >> 临沂市 >> 罗庄区 >> 黄山镇 >> 黄山镇英语备课组 )
  批改时间：2013/3/14 20:03:20
  点评指数：
  点评内容：
  I have my own room now.There is a new closet,a new mirror and a bed in my room.There are two blue curtains and two end tables.The computer is on the desk.The books are on the shelf.There are two end tables near the bed.The mirror is on the tables.The trash bin is behind the door.The closet is near the end tables.Many clothes are in the closet.There is a picture over the bed.The shelf is near the closet.I love my new room very much.Do you like my room?Whas's What's your room like?Can you tell me,please?
• 批改教师：冯琼英 ( 山东省 >> 临沂市 >> 罗庄区 >> 黄山镇 >> 黄山镇英语备课组 )
  批改时间：2013/3/16 13:35:51
  点评指数：★★
  点评内容：
  

  I have my own room now.There is a new closet,a new mirror and a bed in my room.There are two blue curtains and two end tables.The computer is on the desk.The books are on the shelf.There are two end tables near the bed.The mirror is on the tables.The trash bin is behind the door.The closet is near the endtables.Many clothes are in the closet.There is a picture over the bed.The shelf is near the closet.I love my new room very much.Do you like my room?Whas's your room like?Can you tell me,please?

   

  点评：永娟的房间物品很多但通过短文可知你的小房间收拾很干净啊！

• 批改教师：杜培玲 ( 山东省 >> 临沂市 >> 罗庄区 >> 黄山镇 >> 黄山镇英语备课组 )
  批改时间：2013/3/18 10:29:42
  点评指数：
  点评内容：
  

   

                          My own room 

     I have my own room now.There is a new closet,a new mirror and a bed in my room.There are two blue curtains and two end tables.The computer is on the desk.The books are on the shelf.There are two end tables near the bed.The mirror is on the tables.The trash bin is behind the door.The closet is near the endtables.Many clothes are in the closet.There is a picture over the bed.The shelf is near the closet.I love my new room very much.Do you like my room?Whas's your room like?Can you tell me,please?

   

    我觉得你的这篇作文写得还可以，具体介绍了你的房间里的物品和他们的位置。如果加上标题显得主题更清晰，我们看起来会更舒服一些。建议你可以把房间里的物体的颜色再描述一下，让你的房间焕发出生机和活力。让你的作文更加优美。