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My birthday

发布时间：2013-05-20 20:24:14 作者：陈思婉  发布者：872575723 浏览次数：3167  类别：英文作文   优秀指数：★★★★

  Last Sunday,it was my birthday.My good friends had a birthday party for me.At birthday party,many people came it.Wang Ming performed some magic tricks.Tina recited one of Li Bai's poem.Qiao Xiaoyun sang an English song.Aha,we enjoy ourselves on that day.Then,we also played games at birthday party.Like,took some ballnoons,musical chair and so on.At about eleven o'clock,so many people all went back.I think,it was a useful birthday. 

• 批改教师：王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
  批改时间：2013/5/20 23:04:48
  点评指数：★
  点评内容：
    Last Sunday,it was my birthday.My good friends had a birthday party for me.At birthday party,many people came it.Wang Ming performed some magic tricks.Tina recited one of Li Bai's poem.Qiao Xiaoyun sang an English song.Aha,we enjoy^ed ourselves on that day.Then,we also played games at birthday party.Like,took some ballnoons,musical chair and so on.At about eleven o'clock,so many people all went back.I think,it was a useful birthday. 
• 批改教师：周绍芬 ( 山东省 >> 临沂市 >> 罗庄区 >> 黄山镇 >> 黄山镇英语备课组 )
  批改时间：2013/5/23 19:33:50
  点评指数：★★★
  点评内容：
  

    Last Sunday,it was my birthday.My good friends had a birthday party for me.At birthday party,many people came it.Wang Ming performed some magic tricks.Tina recited one of Li Bai's poem.Qiao Xiaoyun sang an English song.Aha,we enjoy ourselves on that day.Then,we also played games at birthday party.( For example,)Like,took some ballnoons,musical chair and so on.At about eleven o'clock,so many people all went back (home).I think,(It)it was a (happy)useful birthday. 

   

      思婉的生日肯定很热闹，so many interesting games. 我都想凑热闹了！可见你将过生日的情景写得多真实呀！希望在个别语句上再精炼一些，准确一些，就更完美了！