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学习计划
发布时间:2013-07-27 08:21:15 作者:reita623  发布者:reita623 浏览次数:2315  类别:英文作文   优秀指数:★★
[大学四年级] 甘肃省 >> 兰州市 >> 城关区 >> 临夏路街道


Dear Visa Officer:

 

I’m very excited and looking forward to beginning my graduate studies at Centennial College in September, 2013. Please allow me to describe my study plan in Canada.

I am LIU YI FAN, born in Lan Zhou, a small city in Gansu province. I was study 4 years of Radio and Television Scenarist and Director (News) in Chengdu University of Technology in 2002 to 2006. I received my Bachelor’s degree and diploma. Some of my classmates chose to work at some TV stations as reporters or editors. But I, on the other hand, chose to be an Art Director and Dance teacher, and starts from my house in my hometown, to run my own business and also where my mother works. After few years, I realized that is not my aim, although I already had over a hundred students. I want to open my own work place to make contributions for the Youngsters Art and Culture of Chinese and foreign exchange, to help our kids to go out and widen their views. But I know that in the field of management is my weakness. That is why I choose to study abroad.

I have accepted the offer from department of Global Business Management and Language course at Centennial College in September, 2013.after I finish my study; I will go back to china and restart my thing as soon as possible.

I compared China with other developed countries, like Canada and US, which I have to learn many good experiences and good ideas about management and future planning from developed countries, because until nowadays, they have the most advanced and mature management systems. So I believe in Canada will no doubt benefit me greatly for my future career. It will give me the opportunity to interact with and learn from the best management ways in the world.

Centennial college is first Community College in Toronto. The College offers many different programs. I choose this college because it persistent in applying theory to practice, to offer many internship opportunities for their students, to help them find their future career as soon as possible.

The normal length of the study is about 6 semesters. In these three years, first year study I would like to put focus on English. Besides, I also will start to learn basic knowledge of management by myself. After language study, I will start my major Global Business Management. Many courses attract me ,like 1、2、3and4. I believed that during my two years study, that my questions will get answers. In fact, majority of our concepts and theories are introduced from developed countries, that Canada is one of them. So, I believe that I would be able to acquire the knowledge needed to become an effective manager of Management programs.

My hometown, even big cities in China, I can not find a model in this filed to copy, but in Canada, they have mature model in this filed. Because of my weakness management, I lost many good chances to expend my things. I was tried, but end up in failure. After that I realized that this is not my time to run my business, because I still need to learn some things about business that can help me to realize my goal. I believe that after study it will help me to find a way to open my mind and market on cultural and art exchange in china with other countries. I have many ideas in this filed .but I don’t know how to realize them now.

I’m very fortunate to have been admitted into the Global Business Management Program course at the Centennial College in Toronto. I am truly looking forward to further continuing my studies in this program in Canada for the next three years. Centennial College is one of the best colleges in Canada and their business management has gained a good reputation both nationally and internationally. The primary goal for my graduate studies is to lay a solid foundation in both the theory part and the practical part of Business Management. In the meantime, I will endeavor to develop better communication skills with people from different cultural backgrounds which are very important for a manager of Management programs while pursuing my graduate certificate in Canada.

After my graduation I will come back to China to restart my things from a big city, like Beijing or Shanghai. We all know that China is now developing very fast and in my field things can find many good chances to run. I think that my study experience in Canada is the key to success.

I would appreciate your approval for my application. Thank you very much!

Yours Sincerely,

LIU YI FAN

2013-7-20

 

教师点评:
  • 批改教师:陈伟 ( 山东省 >> 烟台市 >> 烟台工贸技师学院 )
    批改时间:2013/7/27 15:43:11
    点评指数:
    点评内容:

    Dear Visa Officer:

     

    I’m very excited and looking forward to beginning my graduate studies at Centennial College in September, 2013. Please allow me to describe my study plan in Canada.

    I am LIU YI FAN Yifan Liu, born in Lan Zhou, a small city in Gansu province. I was After studying 4 years of Radio and Television Scenarist and Director (News) in Chengdu University of Technology in 2002 to 2006.(,) I received my Bachelor’s degree and diploma. Some of my classmates chose to work at some TV stations as reporters or editors. But I, on the other hand, chose to be an Art Director and Dance teacher, and starts from my house in my hometown, to run my own business and also where my mother works. After few years, I realized that is not my aim, although I already had over a hundred students. I want to open my own work place to make contributions for to the exchange of  Youngsters Art and Culture of Chinese and foreign exchange, to help our kids to go out and widen their views. But I know that in the field of management is my weakness. That is why I choose to study abroad.

    I have accepted the offer from department of Global Business Management and Language course at Centennial College in September, 2013.after I finish my study; I will go back to china and restart my thing as soon as possible.(第八段)讲了相关内容,重复)

    I compared China with other developed countries, like Canada and US, which I have to learn many good experiences and good ideas about management and future planning from developed countries, because until nowadays, they have the most advanced and mature management systems. So I believe in Canada will no doubt benefit me greatly for my future career. It will give me the opportunity to interact with and learn from the best management ways in the world.

    Centennial college is first Community College in Toronto. The College offers many different programs. I choose this college because it persistent in applying theory to practice, to offer many internship opportunities for their students, to help them find their future career as soon as possible.

    The normal length of the study is about 6 semesters. In these three years, first year study I would like to put focus on English. Besides, I also will start to learn basic knowledge of management by myself. After language study, I will start my major Global Business Management. Many courses attract me ,like 1、2、3and4. I believed that during my two years study, that my questions will get answers. In fact, majority of our concepts and theories are introduced from developed countries, that Canada is one of them. So, I believe that I would be able to acquire the knowledge needed to become an effective manager of Management programs.

    My hometown, even big cities in China, I can not find a model in this filed to copy, but in Canada, they have mature model in this filed. Because of my weakness management, I lost many good chances to expend my things. I was tried, but end up in failure. After that I realized that this is not my time to run my business, because I still need to learn some things about business that can help me to realize my goal. I believe that after study it will help me to find a way to open my mind and market on cultural and art exchange in china with other countries. I have many ideas in this filed .but I don’t know how to realize them now.

    I’m very fortunate to have been admitted into the Global Business Management Program course at the Centennial College in Toronto. I am truly looking forward to further continuing my studies in this program in Canada for the next three years. Centennial College is one of the best colleges in Canada and their business management has gained a good reputation both nationally and internationally. The primary goal for my graduate studies is to lay a solid foundation in both the theory part and the practical part of Business Management. In the meantime, I will endeavor to develop better communication skills with people from different cultural backgrounds which are very important for a manager of Management programs while pursuing my graduate certificate in Canada.

    After my graduation I will come back to China to restart my things from a big city, like Beijing or Shanghai. We all know that China is now developing very fast and in my field things can find many good chances to run. I think that my study experience in Canada is the key to success.

    I would appreciate your approval for my application. Thank you very much!

    Yours Sincerely,

    LIU YI FAN

    2013-7-20

    点评:学习计划书是申请留学签证的重要的文件材料,其重点部分是未来的职业计划和留学后回国的理由,这种材料要求结构清晰,逻辑严密,特别是学成回国的理由要非常充分,避免签证官认为你有移民倾向而拒签。本文结构上有点乱,逻辑也不严密,特别是文中没有很好的分析在加拿大的detailed study plan,详细的未来career objective以及充分的回国理由。另外,本文语言点也有好多错误,我只看了前一两段。总之,还需要仔细修改。加油,祝过签。

  • 批改教师:王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
    批改时间:2013/8/7 22:18:44
    点评指数:★★
    点评内容:

    Dear Visa Officer:

    I’m very excited and looking forward to beginning my graduate studies at (in)Centennial College in September, 2013. Please allow me to describe my study plan in Canada. 

    I am LIU YI FAN(Liu Yifan), who was born in Lan Zhou(Lanzhou), a small city in Gansu province.(Province) I was study (studied)4 years of Radio and Television Scenarist and Director (News) in Chengdu University of Technology in (from)2002 to 2006. I received my Bachelor’s degree and diploma. Some of my classmates chose to work at some TV stations as reporters or editors. But I, on the other hand(contrary), chose to be an Art Director and Dance teacher, and starts from my house in my hometown, to (then)run my own business and also where my mother works. After few years, I realized that is not my aim, although I already had over a hundred students. I want to open my own work place to make contributions for (to)the Youngsters Art and Culture of Chinese and foreign exchange, to help our kids to go out and widen their views. But I know that in the field of management is my weakness. That is why I choose to study abroad.

    I have accepted the offer from department of Global Business Management and Language course at Centennial College in September, 2013.after I finish my study; I will go back to china and restart my thing as soon as possible.

    I compared China with other developed countries, like Canada and US, which I have to learn many good experiences and good ideas about management and future planning from developed countries, because until nowadays, they have the most advanced and mature management systems. So I believe in Canada will no doubt benefit me greatly for my future career. (Compared  with other developed countries like Canada and the US ,I finally decided to choose Canada,for  it is the most suitable for me to learn  many good  experience and ideas on management and future planning )It will give me the opportunity to interact with and learn from the best management ways in the world.

    Centennial college is first Community College in Toronto. The College offers many different programs. I choose this college because it is persistent in applying theory to practice, to (and)offers many internship opportunities for their students, to help them find their future career as soon as possible.

    The normal length of the study is about 6 semesters. In these three years, first year study I would like to put focus on English. Besides, I also will start to learn basic knowledge of management by myself. After language study, I will start my major Global Business Management. Many courses attract me ,like 1、2、3and4. I believed that during my two years study, that my questions will get answers. In fact, majority of our concepts and theories are introduced from developed countries, that Canada is one of them. So, I believe that I would be able to acquire the knowledge needed to become an effective manager of Management programs.

    In My hometown, even big cities in China, I can not find a model in this filed to copy, but in Canada, they have mature model in this filed. Because of my weakness management, I lost many good chances to expend my things. I was tried, but end up in failure. After that I realized that this is not my time to run my business, because I still need to learn some things about business that can help me to realize (achieve)my goal. I believe that after study it will help me to find a way to open my mind and market on cultural and art exchange in china with other countries. I have many ideas in this filed .but I don’t know how to realize them now. 

    I’m very fortunate to have been admitted into the Global Business Management Program course at the Centennial College in Toronto. I am truly looking forward to further continuing my studies in this program in Canada for the next three years. Centennial College is one of the best colleges in Canada and their business management has gained a good reputation both nationally and internationally. The primary goal for my graduate studies is to lay a solid foundation in both the theory part and the practical part of Business Management. In the meantime, I will endeavor to develop better communication skills with people from different cultural backgrounds which are very important for a manager of Management programs while pursuing my graduate certificate in Canada. 

    After my graduation I will come back to China to restart my things from a big city, like Beijing or Shanghai. We all know that China is now developing very fast and in my field (view)things can find many good chances to run. I think that my study experience in Canada is the key to success.

    I would appreciate your approval for my application. Thank you very much!

    Yours Sincerely,

    LIU YI FANLiu Yifan)

    2013-7-20

    点评:一篇不错的内心告白,只有一些细节上的错误,希望你在大洋彼岸能梦想成真。

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