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发布时间：2014-04-15 19:25:28 作者：虞然  发布者：yuran001 浏览次数：2469  类别：英文作文  

Good morning, everyone!

Today, my topic is about a beautiful dream. When I was a little girl, wedding dress is a beautiful dream in my mind. I think maybe you have the same dream. We may hear the saying that the moments a girl wear the wedding dress become the most beautiful woman in the world. 

When it refers to wedding dress, we often think of a famous brand Vera Wang. Now, let me introduce it to you. Firstly, let’s get to know something about it’s designer Vera Wang. Vera Wang never made any mistakes and shows her creation well at the annual academy awards. Her design stars a revolution of wedding dress in fashion field. A piece of Vera Wang wedding dress is worth at least a branded car. Nevertheless, it is still popular.

Her first set of wedding dress is designed for herself. Because when she married, she even can't pick out a set of wedding dress her own love. Since then she began her journey of design. Her design style is concise. And she says: On your wedding, you are able to erotic touching .

Till now, Vera Wang has achieved great success. Many female stars chose this brand for their weddings. Also, she has flagships in Hong Kong, London and Shanghai. Vera Wang is an outstanding woman without doubt.

Nowadays, gender discrimination can’t be avoided, but that doesn’t mean we girls couldn’t achieve success. In any case, we should strive for our dreams, because we don't know at that moment we will be successful. Well，if you love something, go get it！What you like is your own business.

Every girl expects a wonderful wedding. I hope all of you, one day, can find the person you love and wear the wedding dress you most like!

• 批改教师：王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
  批改时间：2014/4/25 16:54:07
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  Good morning, everyone!

  Today, my topic is about a beautiful dream. When I was a little girl, ^wearing  wedding dress is a beautiful dream in my mind. I think maybe you have the same dream. We may hear the saying that the moments a girl wear the wedding dress become the most beautiful woman in the world.

  When it refers to wedding dress, we often think of a famous brand Vera Wang. Now, let me introduce it to you. Firstly, let’s get to know something about it’s (its) designer Vera Wang. Vera Wang never made any mistakes and shows her creation well at the annual academy awards(celebration).Her design stars (starts) a revolution of (in) ^fashionate wedding dress in fashion field. A piece of Vera Wang wedding dress is worth at least a branded car. Nevertheless, it is still popular.

  Her first set of wedding dress is designed for herself. Because when she married (was going to get married) she even can't pick out (choose) a set of wedding dress her own love. Since then she began her journey of design(design journey) Her design style is concise. And she says: On your wedding, you are able to erotic touching .

  Till now, Vera Wang has achieved great success. Many female stars chose (choose) this brand for their weddings. Also, she has flagships ^shops in Hong Kong, London and Shanghai. Vera Wang is an outstanding woman without doubt.(There is no doubt that Vera Wang is an outstanding woman.)

  Nowadays, ^although gender discrimination can’t be avoided, but that (it) doesn’t mean we girls couldn’t achieve success. In any case, we should strive for our dreams, because (for) we don't know at that (the) moment ^that we will be successful. Well，if you love something, go get it！What you like is your own business.

  Every girl expects a wonderful wedding. I hope all of you, one day, can find the person you love and wear the wedding dress you most like!

  Comments: Where did your conclution come from? The example about Vera Wang proved the importance of creation and the insistence of personality, not her love on wedding dress. The ending is lack of deeply thinking.