批改教师:王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
批改时间:2014/6/4 22:09:39
点评指数:
点评内容:
Thanksgiving day will come (I came) up with Thanksgiving Day in my mind when i are (I was) asked about American culture.Thanksgiving is not a religious holiday. But it has spiritual (another) meaning .Some Americans attend religious services (activities) on the day before Thanksgiving Day or on (in) Thanksgiving (that) morning . Others travel long distances to be with their families .They have a large dinner (big meal) which is (whose) the main part of (propose) is about the calebration .For many Americans , Thanksgiving is the only time when all memebers of the family members are gathered just like Chinese spring festival.The holiday is time of family reunin (reunited).More than any other holiday ,Thanksgiving is a celebration of family and home. Many people think that they are (should) especially thankfull for (appreciate) their families and friends and the good things (fortunes) in their life at that time of each year.On Thanksgiving day ,people enjoy a long day of cooking ,eating and talking (chatting).The traditional meal almost always includes the turkey.Other traditional Thanksgiving foods served with turkey are sweet potatoes,cranberries,and pumkin pie.Many people eat more than food at Thanksgiving than that at any other tiime (time) of the year .Over the years,Americans have added new traditional (customs) to their Thanksgiving celebration.For example,a number of professional and (or) university football games are played (held) on Thanksgiving day.Some of the games are broadcasted on the national television. That is all for Thanksgiving introduction .
1.题目用"American Culture"太宽泛了,用"Thanksgiving Day"即可。
2.都斯是英语专业的吗?
批改教师:陈伟 ( 山东省 >> 烟台市 >> 烟台工贸技师学院 )
批改时间:2014/6/4 22:36:50
点评指数:★
点评内容:
Thanksgiving day will come up in my mind when i are am asked about American culture. Thanksgiving is not a religious holiday. But it has spiritual meaning. Some Americans attend religious services on the day before Thanksgiving or on Thanksgiving morning. Others travel long distances to be with their families. They have a large dinner which is the main part of the calebration. For many Americans, Thanksgiving is the only time when all memebers of the family gather just like Chinese spring festival.The holiday is time of family reunin .More than any other holiday, Thanksgiving is a celebration of family and home. Many people think that they are especially thankfull for their families and friends and the good things in their life at that time of each year.On Thanksgiving day, people enjoy a long day of cooking, eating and talking. The traditional meal almost always includes the turkey. Other traditional Thanksgiving food served with turkey are sweet potatoes, cranberries, and pumkin pie .Many people eat more than food at Thanksgiving that than at any other tiime of the year. Over the years , Americans have added new traditional tranditions to their Thanksgiving celebration. For example, a number of professional and university football games are played on Thanksgiving day. Some of the games are broadcast on the national television. That is all for Thanksgiving introduction.
tips: We, after reading the introduction, can be aware of the families, food and activities on the special day. However, from my point of view, adding some other information relating to the festival is better, sach as, the history, the meaning of "thankness" and so on. Moreover, most of the sentences are simple ones, which can be rewrited to complex ones if it is a form composition. Take the last three sentences for example, we can combine two sentences into one via changing one into a clause. That is, "For example, a number of professional and university football games are played on Thanksgiving day. Ssome of the games which are broadcast on the national television ".