批改符号说明：

绿底为优美，黄底为瑕疵，红底为错字（括号里边为间批），中间横线为删除，^{上标符号添加字}，文下隔行写点评，点评内容用红字，红双线“‖”处段另起（分段）.

 

我希望每天唤醒我的不是闹钟，而是梦想》

发布时间：2014-06-06 09:18:38 作者：周阿瑜  发布者：shelly_d 浏览次数：3481  类别：英文作文  

 

《我希望每天唤醒我的不是闹钟，而是梦想》

时光不停地流逝，当我们行走在这个世界之时，它已掠过我们身边。当太阳照常升起，我们依旧行走着，寻找着我们的梦。

   是的，时光逝去，我们都不例外。我们都在时光之河中。它把我们带到更广阔的世界。时间，它能解决许多难题。一些东西会在旅途中展现。比如说梦想。如果，你已行走多时，情不自禁你会感叹：梦想，是你的挚友。因为梦想，这段长长的旅途不会索然无味。梦想，它支撑着你继续旅行。

   “做你想做的，坚持自己的目标，不要心灰意冷......”梦想在我耳边轻声絮语，梦想，它能唤醒我们。

和梦想做伴，我们正在沙滩边看海。“百川东到海，何时复西归？”确实，时光无法重复。我们忍不住思考。在思考中迷失，在时光中迷失。

我依然与梦想为伍，迈着旅途的脚步。生活，不能没有思考。戴上耳机，聆听心中漾出的乐章，我闭上双眼，享受着生活，享受着旅途，享受着我的朋友——梦想。

                                            ----------完。

《I hope the thing that wakes up me every day isn’t my alarm clock, that it is a dream》

The time passed ceaselessly. When we were walking in the world, it went away from us. When the sun rises on time every day, we are still walking and looking for our dream.

Yes, the time passes. There is no exception. We are all in the river of time. It takes us to the wider world. Time can solve lots of difficult questions and something can appear on our trip.  For example, dreams, Dreams are from time. If you have walked for a long time, irresistibly you will plaint: A dream is one of the good friends of yours. Because of having dreams the long trip of life won’t be insipid. A dream sustains you as go on the trip through time.

“Do the thing you want to do, keep aiming for your targets. Don’t be discouraged………” My dream whispers to my ears. Dreams can wake us.

Be friend with dreams. We are seeing the sea on the beach, “ All the rives have gone to the sea, When do they turn back?” Real time can’t repeat. We can’t help thinking…….., Lost in thought and lost in time…….

I’m still on a trip with dreams. Life can’t be lived without thinking. Put on earphones. I’m listening to the music from my heart. Close my eyes I will enjoy my life, my trip and my friend—my dreams.

                                         --------End

• 批改教师：王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
  批改时间：2014/6/6 15:48:55
  点评指数：
  点评内容：
  

  《我希望每天唤醒我的不是闹钟，而是梦想》

  时光不停地流逝，当我们行走在这个世界之时，它已掠过我们身边。当太阳照常升起，我们依旧行走着，寻找着我们的梦。

        是的，时光逝去，我们都不例外。我们都在时光之河中。它把我们带到更广阔的世界。时间，它能^为解决许多难题^{的解决提供了机会}。一些东西会在旅途中展现。比如说梦想。如果，你已行走多时，情不自禁你会感叹：梦想，是你的挚友。因为梦想，这段长长的旅途不会索然无味。梦想，它支撑着你继续旅行。

  “做你想做的，坚持自己的目标，不要心灰意冷......”梦想在我耳边轻声絮语，梦想，它能唤醒我们。

  和梦想做伴，我们正在沙滩边看海。“百川东到海，何时复西归？”确实，时光无法重复。我们忍不住思考。在思考中迷失，在时光中迷失。

  我依然与梦想为伍，迈着旅途的脚步。生活，不能没有思考。戴上耳机，聆听心中漾出的乐章，我闭上双眼，享受着生活，享受着旅途，享受着我的朋友——梦想。

  ----------完。

  《I hope the thing that ^{I am not} wakes up (waken) me every day (morning) isn’t (by) my alarm clock, it that is a ^but (my) dream》

  The time passed (passes) ceaselessly. When we were (are) walking in the world, it went (goes) away from us. When the sun rises on time every day, we are still walking (jogging) and looking for (to achieve) our dreams.

  Yes, the time passes (flies).There is no exception. (None of us can escape the routine.) We are all in the river of time. It takes us to the wider world. Time can solve lots of difficult questions (Time offers chances to solve many issues) and something (some of our thoughts) can appear on (be shown during) our trip (,for example,dreams.) For example, dreams, Dreams are from time. If you have walked (walk) for a long time, irresistibly you will ^{conclude such a} plaint: A dream is one of the good friends of yours. (Dream is one of our good friends.) Because of having dreams the long trip of life won’t be insipid. A dream sustains you as go on the trip through time.

  “Do the thing you want to do (whatever you want) keep aiming for your targets. Don’t be discouraged………” My dream whispers to (beside) my ears. Dreams can wake us.

  Be friendly with dreams. We are seeing the sea on the beach, “ All the rives have gone to the sea, When do they turn back?”(A hundred streams flow eastwards to the ocean.Nevermore to turn west again) Real (Exactly) time can’t repeat (never comes back).We can’t help thinking…….., Lost in thought and lost in time…….

  I’m still on a trip with dreams. Life can’t be lived (leave) without thinking. Put on earphones. I’m listening to the music (note) from my heart. Close my eyes I will enjoy my life, my trip and my friend—my dreams.

  --------End

  1.英语常识薄弱，英语里没有书名号，在印刷体中用斜体表示文章的名称或书名，在手写体里，则用双引号或者下划线表示。作为文章题目的每个实词的首字母均要大写。

  2.对英语单词的掌握不甚了了，文章中式思维严重，语病百出。

  3.自以为是，拿着中国古代诗歌胡乱翻译。