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How lovely the girl is

发布时间：2014-06-08 18:01:48 作者：若拙  发布者：ruozhuo 浏览次数：3741  类别：中文作文  

During the Dragon Boat Festival ,People liked to buy the all colours toys everywhere .One day I saw a white “girl” who stood siletly the table in the street.I love her very much and bought her at once.she is taken my home.Puting her on the desk near the computer.when I open the computer she is always smile to me . Two big eyes mosic on the cirle face ,with corners of the mouth is still upward.the dress has lots of color dots,It seems like as an item with big hung each other.

If I fell tied I can hold her shanking ,the charm of the beautiful voice lingered in my ears.it is the most lovely music of all.

Let me tell you ,she is not only a pretty girl but also is a nice windbell .

Now I call her snow white

• 批改教师：王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
  批改时间：2014/6/8 21:27:00
  点评指数：
  点评内容：
  

  During the Dragon Boat Festival ,People liked to buy the all colours ^{kinds of} (colorful) toys everywhere .One day I saw a white “girl” who stood siletly (silently) ^at the table in the street.I loved her very much and bought her at once.she is (was) taken ^to my home.Puting (and put) her on the desk near the computer.when I open (turn on) the computer she is always smiles to me. Two big eyes mosic on the cirle (round) face ,with corners of the mouth is still upward.the dress has lots of color dots,It seems like (to be) as an item with big hung each other.

  If I fell tied (tired) I can hold her,shanking ^{and listen to} the charm of the beautiful voice lingered (lingering) in my ears.it is the most lovely music of all.

  Let me tell you ,she is not only a pretty girl but also is a nice windbell .

  Now I call her snow white

  若拙中文水平不错，英文水平逊色多了。