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Parents are my friends
发布时间:2014-10-14 13:05:34 作者:付青云  发布者:fuqingyun 浏览次数:2820  类别:英文作文  
[初中二年级] 湖北省 >> 武汉市 >> 洪山区 >> 华中农业大学附属学校


                     Parents are my friends
Parents always like their children,but they're sometimes strict with their children.Many kids hope that parents can be friends with them.
But in my family,my father and mother are my friends.My father and I often go for a walk together,and both of us like to do sports.So we always play badminton in the park.Although he plays better than me,he often helps to bring out the best in me.So I'm getting better at badminton.My mother is a good listener,and she always cares about me very much.Also,she take good care of me both in my studying and daily life.We can talk about and share everything.In fact,they're not only my parents,but also my friends.
So let's make friends with our parents!

这是英语单元考试的作文,我自己发挥的地方有很多。我掌握的词汇、语法什么的不是很多,所以文章也没什么亮点,只是应试的。还望高师指点迷津
教师点评:
  • 批改教师:王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
    批改时间:2014/10/14 13:42:52
    点评指数:
    点评内容:
    Parents are my friends
    Parents always like their children,but they're sometimes strict with their children (them,代词使文章简洁).Many kids hope that parents can be friends with them.
    But in my family,my father and mother are my friends.My father and I often go for a walk together,and both of us like to do sports.So we always play badminton in the park.Although he plays better than me,he often helps to bring out the best in me (tried his best to bring me up,bring up培养) So I'm getting better at badminton (made much progress,语言更流畅).My mother is a good listener,and she always cares about me very much.Also,she take (takes,单数第三人称) good care of me both in my studying (并列相同成分) and daily life.We can talk about and share everything.In fact,they're not only my parents,but also my friends.(赘余
    So let's make friends with our parents! (So承接的是上面的原因,文中没有列举与父母为友的诸多好处)

    这是英语单元考试的作文,我自己发挥的地方有很多。我掌握的词汇、语法什么的不是很多,所以文章也没什么亮点,只是应试的。还望高师指点迷津
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