批改符号说明：

绿底为优美，黄底为瑕疵，红底为错字（括号里边为间批），中间横线为删除，^{上标符号添加字}，文下隔行写点评，点评内容用红字，红双线“‖”处段另起（分段）.

 

My mentor

发布时间：2014-12-16 22:17:00 作者：lisa  发布者：shanshan 浏览次数：3890  类别：英文作文  

    It has been three years since I became his fan. He’s Ashin, who’s the lead singer of Mayday, a famous rock band from Taiwan. He’s my idol and mentor.

    He’s my idol for his voice moves me and the meaningful lyrics arise my response. Their lyrics are not only about love, but also about life and the world. In the second year of my high school, my studies fell into a low valley. Studying turned into suffering in that so called advanced class, especially with such a strict and horrible teacher in charging of our class. It seemed that there would be no bright future in my student life any more. I had almost given up myself when I met Mayday. Ashin’s cheerful voice occasionally came into my world on a dark autumn evening, igniting the light of hope and lighting the passion for me.

    Ashin is more a mentor than an idol for me. The spirit of pursuing happiness and fighting for oneself in their songs encouraged me a lot at that time. Later I decided to follow my heart to go back to me first class where there were my familiar classmates and teachers. Regarded as the key period, my last year in high school was really a challenge for me. It's a path of thorns. Nevertheless, with my beloved Mayday by my side, I overcome all obstacles and finally made my way to Wenzhou University.

    As for me, Mayday is not only a famous band, but also a circle of friends indeed; Ashin is both an idol and a mentor who has already changed my life. They are always there no matter what situation I am in all the time, singing to deliver positive energy.

    They had cheered me up during my hardest period. And in the rest of my life, they will continually guide me to the right way.

• 批改教师：王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
  批改时间：2014/12/17 8:57:24
  点评指数：
  点评内容：
  

  It has been three years since I became his fan. He’s Ashin, who’s the lead singer of Mayday, a famous rock band from Taiwan. He’s my idol and mentor.

     He’s my idol ,for his voice moves (touches) me and the meaningful lyrics arise my response. Their lyrics are not only about love, but also about life and the world. In the second year of my high school, my studies fell into a low valley. Studying turned into suffering in that so called advanced class, especially with such a strict and horrible teacher in charging of our class (us). It seemed that there would be no bright future in my student life any more. I had almost given up myself when (before) I met Mayday. Ashin’s cheerful voice occasionally came into my world on a dark autumn evening, igniting the light of hope and lighting the passion for me.
  
     Ashin is more a mentor than an idol for me. The spirit (concept) of pursuing happiness and fighting for oneself in their songs encouraged me a lot at that time. Later I decided to follow my heart to go back to me first class (the normal tracks in my life) where there were my familiar classmates and teachers. Regarded as the key period, my last year in high school was really a challenge for me. It's a path of thorns. Nevertheless, with my beloved Mayday by my side, I overcome all obstacles and finally made my way to Wenzhou University.
  
     As for me, Mayday is not only a famous band, but also a circle of friends indeed; Ashin is both an idol and as ^a mentor who has already changed my life. They are (He is) always there no matter what (whatever) situation I am in all the time, singing to deliver positive energy.
  
     They (He) had (has) cheered me up during my hardest period. And in the rest of my life, they will continually guide me to the right way.