批改符号说明：

绿底为优美，黄底为瑕疵，红底为错字（括号里边为间批），中间横线为删除，^{上标符号添加字}，文下隔行写点评，点评内容用红字，红双线“‖”处段另起（分段）.

 

Heroic me

发布时间：2014-12-16 22:17:36 作者：lisa  发布者：shanshan 浏览次数：3342  类别：英文作文  

    I was absolutely valiant in that fight.

    It was an afternoon when my family and I were sitting in the yard, chatting. It was all of a sudden that several evildoers rushed in with guns in their hands. It was such kind of scene that only appeared in action films.

    Everyone riveted to the ground with fear, with faces paled and limbs trembled. We finally came to ourselves when my younger sister’s screaming of terror aroused our awareness of self-rescue. I had never been more clear-thinking while in danger. I let my parents and little sister came into the house, leaving myself alone, faced with those "uninvited guests".

    Then I bust out my big gun and whip when their bullets were shot towards me. Holding gun in my left hand and whip in the other, I began my counterattack. The enemies were soon retreated several meters backward in the rain of bullets and continuous lashing. As my beating back went on, they could no longer hold on and finally fled away. I didn't know how it came that I was so bold and able to fight. But it was true that I protected my family from dager.

    “Time to get up,my dear.” Mom’s voice came and I gradually came to myself.

    Oh, it's a dream. The heroic me is only a dream.

• 批改教师：王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
  批改时间：2014/12/17 12:54:13
  点评指数：
  点评内容：
  I was absolutely valiant in that fight.
  
    It was an afternoon when my family and I were sitting (seating) in the yard, chatting. It was all of a sudden that several evildoers rushed in with guns in their hands. It was such ^a kind of scene that only appeared in action films.
  
    Everyone riveted to (stood on) the ground with fear, with  paled ^faces and ^trembled limbs . We finally came to ourselves when my younger sister’s screaming of terror aroused our awareness of self-rescue. I had never been more clear-thinking while in danger. I let my parents and little sister came into the house, leaving myself alone, faced (and facing) with those "uninvited guests".
  
    Then I bust out my big gun and whipped when their bullets were shot towards me. Holding gun in my left hand and whip in the other, I began my counterattack. The enemies were soon retreated several meters backward in the rain of bullets and continuous lashing. As my beating back went on, they could no longer hold on and finally fled away. I didn't know how it came that I was so bold and able to fight. But it was true that I protected my family from dager (danger).
  
    “Time to get up,my dear.” Mom’s voice came and I gradually (adruptly) came to myself.
  
    Oh, it's a dream. The heroic me is only a dream.