交文友,学写作,就到作文批改网! | 收藏本站专版专栏 |RSS订阅     欢迎,朋友 | 免费注册会员登录
 
设为首页
收藏本站
会员中心
批改符号说明:

绿底为优美黄底为瑕疵红底为错字(括号里边为间批)中间横线为删除上标符号添加字文下隔行写点评,点评内容用红字,红双线‖”处段另起(分段).

 

If I Were the President
发布时间:2014-12-17 23:18:33 作者:lisa  发布者:shanshan 浏览次数:10119  类别:英文作文  
[大学二年级] 浙江省 >> 温州市 >> 瓯海区 >> 茶山街道


    If I were the president of my school, I would persuade all the other leaders to change some basic but important rules as soon as I come to power.
 
    It comes to the first the schedule, especially the time to get up. It’s absolutely too tough and harmed physically for students to get up at six even in below-zero wind chills. 
 
    Firstly, students’ sleeping time is far from enough. If one goes to bed at ten and gets up at six, there’s just eight hours for sleeping. But the fact is that few students can go to bed at ten, for they have to take shower, wash clothes, and do their work. It’s usually eleven already when everything is done. Besides, there should be some time for relaxing, for example, making a phone call with parents, chatting with roommates, and so on. In this case, the average bedtime for college students is half past eleven. And it also takes time to fall asleep. Although students go to bed late, they still have to get up early. Having not kept a regular sleeping schedule, how can students gain health?
 
    Secondly, it’s obviously harmful to our knee joint while riding a bicycle in the cold winter morning. College students commonly ride to the class since the distance is larger between campus and dormitory. Riding bicycle frequently actually will wear the knee joint, which dose no good to our health, letting alone riding bikes in the biting wind.
 
    Taking account the two factors above, it would be extremely urgent for me to adjust the schedule if I were the president. I would make it later the time of the first class so that students can gain enough time to sleep and keep in good health and in good mood.
Having solved the schedule problem, then I would turn to the elective system.
 
    The elective system exists in name only in our college. Students have no choice to choose their ideal courses for the lack of teachers and classrooms. More disturbingly, a course won’t be developed if the number of students hasn’t reached some standard.
I want to break this rule. A course should be set even when there is only one student choosing it. Schools are supposed to consider more the development of students than the convenience of managing.
 
    Although there might be much more difficulties than I could think of, I would struggle for these two goals if I were the president.

教师点评:
  • 批改教师:王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
    批改时间:2014/12/18 9:45:21
    点评指数:
    点评内容:
        If I were the president of my school, I would persuade all the other leaders to change some basic but important rules as soon as I come to power.
     
        It (That it) comes to the first is the schedule, especially the time to get up. It’s absolutely too tough and harmed physically for students to get up at six even in the temprature below-zero wind chills
     
        Firstly, students’ sleeping time is far from enough. If one goes to bed at ten and gets up at six, there’s just eight hours for sleeping. But the fact is that few students can go to bed at ten, for they have to take shower, wash clothes, and do their work. It’s usually eleven already when everything is done. Besides, there should be some time for relaxing, for example, making a phone call with parents, chatting with roommates, and so on. In this case, the average bedtime for college students is half past eleven. And it also takes time to fall asleep. Although students go to bed late, they still have to get up early. Having not kept a regular sleeping schedule, how can students gain health?
     
        Secondly, it’s obviously harmful to our knee joint while riding a bicycle in the cold winter morning. College students commonly ride to the class since the distance is larger between campus and dormitory. Riding bicycle frequently actually will wear the knee joint, which dose no good to our health, letting alone riding bikes in the biting wind.
     
        Taking account the two factors above, it would be extremely urgent for me to adjust the schedule if I were the president. I would make it later the time of the first class so that students can gain enough time to sleep and keep in good health and in good mood.
    Having solved the schedule problem, then I would turn to the elective system.
     
        The elective system exists in name only in our college. Students have no choice to choose their ideal courses for the lack of teachers and classrooms. More disturbingly, a course won’t be developed if the number of students hasn’t reached some standard.
    I want to break this rule. A course should be set even when there is only one student choosing it. Schools are supposed to consider more the development of students than the convenience of managing.
     
        Although there might be much more difficulties than I could think of, I would struggle for these two goals if I were the president.
    Comments: In general, you are too young and too simple.
李之怡 共164篇 推荐7 优秀5
姜恩泽 共108篇 推荐22 优秀10
刘鼎轩 共98篇 推荐36 优秀24
马维霞 共80篇 推荐0 优秀1
陈永娟 共64篇 推荐15 优秀9
江秋 共63篇 推荐2 优秀2
陈乐乐 共60篇 推荐3 优秀0
胡豆儿 共59篇 推荐9 优秀7
房云玲 共57篇 推荐47 优秀5
董千里 共55篇 推荐30 优秀22
友情链接:百度   新华网   人民网   中国政府网   凤凰网   央视网  卫星地图  大师邦
关于本站 | 合作加盟 | 积分计划 | 联系我们 | 投稿须知 | 版权声明 | 问题解答
作文批改网 www.duzhenfang.com 地址:山东省临沂市罗庄区 电话:13864984078.
备案编号:鲁ICP备12014725号-1,设计制作:作文批改网
187.500毫秒