交文友,学写作,就到作文批改网! | 收藏本站专版专栏 |RSS订阅     欢迎,朋友 | 免费注册会员登录
 
设为首页
收藏本站
会员中心
批改符号说明:

绿底为优美黄底为瑕疵红底为错字(括号里边为间批)中间横线为删除上标符号添加字文下隔行写点评,点评内容用红字,红双线‖”处段另起(分段).

 

Fiction C 2
发布时间:2014-12-25 14:01:17 作者:may  发布者:zzzq 浏览次数:1957  类别:英文作文  
[非在校学生] 四川省 >> 成都市 >> 金牛区 >> 茶店子街道


Wouldn't it be better if we release another information to the public at present stage?” I asked.

That figures, but we need to be more scrupulous”, said my boss, looking at what looks like a report of the consequence of this event. “Leave it to the loyal one”.

Copy that” I answered.

Suddenly there is a knock on the door, my boss and I look at each other quickly, wondering who will be outside. As it is long after office hours now, no one is supposed to be found in our office building, of course, except us.

I slide softly into the next room according to my boss’s hint, because we don’t want to be spotted by the third person.

Shortly after I closed the door behind me I heard someone walked into the manager’s room. I tried to guess who it will be and what they were talking about, but I got nothing.

After what seemed like hours, the Mr. or Mrs. mysterious had gone. I walked outside room when my boss called me.

My boss was in a bad mood, frowned anxiously. Obviously he thought nobody stood a chance of visiting us here in a dark night to send us a gift in disguise.

When I was undecided whether to ask him about what happened just now, I suddenly find an exquisite box lain silently on his desk.

The box was dark green and oval-shaped. Stood on top of it was a little golden crown decorated with patterns of iris.

After I searched in my memory, I was quite sure that I haven’t seen it before until my boss opened it in front of me.

It had a necklace in it, which was made out of several unknown black jewelries, shining like stars in dark night.

I looked at the necklace vacantly, because I had same one too.

The same necklace I had, which was now buried under the wall of my living room in a locked box, was passed down by my grandmother as a symbol of the family.

Anyone who hold that necklace means he is one of our family members. I haven’t thought there was another necklace in the world before.

教师点评:
  • 批改教师:王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
    批改时间:2014/12/25 21:36:58
    点评指数:
    点评内容:

    Wouldn't it be better if we release (gave) another information to the public at present stage?” I asked.

      “That figures, but we need to be more scrupulous”, said my boss, looking at what (the paper that) looks like a report of the consequence of this event. “Leave it to the loyal one”.

      “Copy that” I answered.

      Suddenly there is (was) a knock on the door, my boss and I looked at each other quickly, wondering who will be outside (was it). As it is long after office hours now, no one is (was) supposed to be found in our office building, of course, except us.

      I slided softly (quitly) into the next room according to my boss’s hint, because we don’t (didn't) want to be spotted by the third person.

      Shortly (Soon) after I closed the door behind me I heard someone walked (walking) into the manager’s room. I tried to guess who it will be (was it) and what they were talking about, but I got nothing.

      After what seemed like (long) hours, the Mr. or Mrs. mysterious (I don't understand) had gone. I walked outside room when my boss called me.

      My boss was in a bad mood, frowned anxiously. Obviously he thought nobody stood (caught) a chance of visiting us here in a dark night to send us a gift in disguise.

      When I was undecided whether to ask him about what happened just now, I suddenly find (found) an exquisite box lain (lying) silently on his desk.

      The box was dark green and oval-shaped. Stood on top of it was a little golden crown decorated with patterns of iris.

      After I searched in my memory, I was quite sure that I haven’t (hadn't) seen it before until my boss opened it in front of me.

      It had (There was) a necklace in it, which was made out of several unknown black jewelries, shining like stars in dark night.

      I looked at the necklace vacantly (in an empty mind), because I had the same one too.

      The same necklace I had, which was now buried under the wall of my living room in a locked box, was passed down by my grandmother as a symbol of the family.

      Anyone who hold that necklace means (meant) he is (was) one of our family members. I haven’t (hadn't) thought there was another necklace in the world before.

李之怡 共164篇 推荐7 优秀5
姜恩泽 共108篇 推荐22 优秀10
刘鼎轩 共98篇 推荐36 优秀24
马维霞 共80篇 推荐0 优秀1
陈永娟 共64篇 推荐15 优秀9
江秋 共63篇 推荐2 优秀2
陈乐乐 共60篇 推荐3 优秀0
胡豆儿 共59篇 推荐9 优秀7
房云玲 共57篇 推荐47 优秀5
董千里 共55篇 推荐30 优秀22
友情链接:百度   新华网   人民网   中国政府网   凤凰网   央视网  卫星地图  大师邦
关于本站 | 合作加盟 | 积分计划 | 联系我们 | 投稿须知 | 版权声明 | 问题解答
作文批改网 www.duzhenfang.com 地址:山东省临沂市罗庄区 电话:13864984078.
备案编号:鲁ICP备12014725号-1,设计制作:作文批改网
218.750毫秒