绿底为优美，黄底为瑕疵，红底为错字（括号里边为间批），中间横线为删除，上标符号添加字，文下隔行写点评，点评内容用红字，红双线“‖”处段另起（分段）.
One year before,i went to WHU university,from senior to college ,from countryside to city,from familiar to strange,from dependent to absolute.
Think back to last 4 years ,3 topic i want to share , it’s difficult to judge the meaning of these topic ,but all of these topic cost me a lot of time to think of them.
Change?
Let’s come to my junior high school ,i am in a school which is worst in my city,that is the truth .The atmosphere influence people most ,i was influence too .No one tell us why we should study ,at that time ,i even don’t have the concept of studying.So ,the first one and a half year ,i almost learn nothing,at that time ,i have a lot of nabs ,we always fighting in group ,we cut class together . The result is that my study condition is very poor , if i don’t change ,when i graduate ,i maybe go to the worst senior school of our city or leave school.
The change really happened ,in the Spring Festival ,when i received my score sheet,i opened it ,it was the worst grade i have ever made.All my family members were not happy.What impress me most is my mother’s tears,i had never see my mother crying.So ,from the time ,i began study hard ,i didn’t know why ,i just didn’t want to my mother cry again,and didn’t want to my inner dream die.A change lead to a lot of changes ,all my nabs leave me ,i say goodbye to my girlfriend,i never cut class again.Luckily ,hard work lead to results,i graduate as number 1 of my junior school,and break the record of the worst school .I went to the best senior high school of the city ,and was deliver to the best class called AA class.
Things change fast,no one can image i need the second change.Different reason ,similar progress. I went to the AA class as number 6.At the first term,i don’t want to study ,because i didn’t find the reason why i should study hard.At last time ,my reason is that i didn’t want to my mother cry ,but then ,i became my parents’ arrogant,my mother will never cry because of me.So i became lost.The result was that i got number 65 at final exam,from 6 to 65,from top to low.It was half a year that i’ll never forget in my life ,i had no friends,i was criticized by my teacher everyday,even physical punishment.
At that time ,still a Spring Festival ,i know it was time to change ,for my inner dream ,for her,for future! I did it ,i succeed again.It is a long and suffering process,you can’t image how slowly my progress was made .I used half a year from 6 to 65 ,but i used the following 2 and a half year to make it became the same to the beginning ,but i failed it ,i graduated as number 15 in my class and went to WHU university .Whatever the result is ,i satisfied to it.
I went to the college where i am in now ,think back to last one year,it was too close to me that i can’t judge weather it is meaningful for me .But i did changed the third time .In a lot of aspect ,for a lot of reason .Let’s come to second topic they are related .
Dream ?
I have a dream for a long time,i can say the long time is 12 years.
A big dream , which is difficult to realized .For a lot of strange reasons ,when i was young ,i want to become a scientist in the future ,and the dream last until i came to WHU university.The dream influence me a lot .It was the motivation of my progress .Changes were suffering,you should face a lot of unexpected things .Whenever i want to give up,the dream will present in my mind ,and tell me if i give up, i’ll never make my dream come true.So, i succeed in my first change and have a good result in my second change.
But it is really a difficult dream ,i have ever told myself in my senior school period,if i went to University of of Science and Technology of china or Tsinghua University,maybe i will realize my dream someday.But at lest ,i failed.
When i take the first footstep to WHU, i began to rethink the dream, weather can i realize my dream in this university? If i really want to become a scientist now ? What i really want ? Who i really want to become? These question took me a lot of time,almost one year.It was still a very suffering period ,because i lost my direction.I was experiencing a hard time which i have experienced twice in my junior and senior high school. After a long time thinking, i give up the dream , and reforming a new dream ,which is more suitable to me ,which is more realistic.
Suffering means growing up. the period is over, i refind my direction,and will stick to it in the following 3 years.
Last but not least topic!
Love ?
In the first topic i have said i made second change for my inner dream ,for her ,for future .Why for her ? Who is her?
That’s about love. Maybe it is not precise , just i love her ,she has never fell in love with me. She was the only girl that i fell in love with in my senior high school period. In that time ,i have no friends ,my study was poor, i was always criticized by teacher in front of all my classmates.For all of this reason, i received none of my classmates’ respect, so did her.
When i said to her i love her and want to became her boyfriend, she refused me directly.
That was a fail, but not totally a fail!
Although it give me a lot of sorrow , and give me an unhappy senior high school time. But at the same time ,i learned a lot from it.
Tell the truth , i love the girl very much, i cared about her every words on me , i cared about her every reaction on me. The reason that i was badly hurt is my caring. From then ,i understand that people just can be hurt by what he care about, the more deeply he is hurt , the more he care about it . From then, i learned to be indifferent to something , i learned to protect myself.
Time went to college , love came to me again. This time is different ,a girl who i have known for a long time express her love to me and want me be her boyfriend . At the beginning ,i didn’t receive it. As times go by , i gradually fell in love with her ,but not same as before to the former girl. I’ll never addict to the love,for avoiding badly hurt ,for protecting myself.
It was a unforgettable time, we all very happy, but after we fall in love for six month , we found we were not suit to each other, for values of life,for dreams ,for character. So , our love went to end peacefully,no quarrel ,no crying!
We were both hurt , i don’t know how deep she was hurt. but as for me, i was hurt ,but not badly hurt. It was easy for me to get out of shadow, and begin my life normally.
Hurt can also make people growing up. We should say thank you to the people who hurt us.
With out them ,we can never growing up!
All three topic were end, just three topic ,just about senior , just about college, and just about senior to college.
One year before,i（I） went to WHU university,from senior to college ,from countryside to city,from familiar to strange,from dependent to absolute.
Think back to last 4 years ,3 topic i（I） want to share , it’s difficult to judge the meaning of these topic ,but all of these topic cost me a lot of time to think of them.
Change?
Let’s come to my junior high school ,i（I） am in a school which is worst in my city,that is the truth .The atmosphere influence people most ,i(I) was influence(influenced) too .No one tell us why we should study ,at that time ,i(I)
even don’t have the concept of studying.So ,the first one and a half year ,i(I)almost learn nothing,at that time ,i(I) have a lot of nabs ,we always fighting in group ,we cut class together . The result is that my study condition is very poor , if i don’t change ,when i(I) graduate ,i(I) maybe go to the worst senior school of our city or leave school.
The change really happened ,in the Spring Festival ,when i(I) received my score sheet,i(I) opened it ,it was the worst grade i(I) have ever made.All my family members were not happy.What impress me most is my mother’s tears,i(I) had never see(seen) my mother crying.So ,from the time ,i(I) began study hard ,i(I) didn’t know why ,i(I) just didn’t want to my mother cry again,and didn’t want to my inner dream die.A change lead to a lot of changes ,all my nabs leave me ,i say goodbye to my girlfriend,i never cut class again.Luckily ,hard work lead to results,i graduate as number 1 of my junior school,and break the record of the worst school .I went to the best senior high school of the city ,and was deliver to the best class called AA class.
Things change fast,no one can image i(I) need the second change.Different reason ,similar progress. I went to the AA class as number 6.At the first term,i don’t want to study ,because i didn’t find the reason why i should study hard.At last time ,my reason is that i didn’t want to my mother cry ,but then ,i became my parents’ arrogant,my mother will never cry because of me.So i became lost.The result was that i got number 65 at final exam,from 6 to 65,from top to low.It was half a year that i’ll never forget in my life ,i had no friends,i was criticized by my teacher everyday,even physical punishment.
At that time ,still a Spring Festival ,i(I) know it was time to change ,for my inner dream ,for her,for future! I did it ,i succeed again.It is a long and suffering process,you can’t image how slowly my progress was made .I used half a year from 6 to 65 ,but i used the following 2 and a half year to make it became the same to the beginning ,but i failed it ,i graduated as number 15 in my class and went to WHU university .Whatever the result is ,i satisfied to it.
I went to the college where i am in now ,think back to last one year,it was too close to me that i can’t judge weather it is meaningful for me .But i did changed the third time .In a lot of aspect ,for a lot of reason .Let’s come to second topic they are related .
Dream ?
I have a dream for a long time,i can say the long time is 12 years.
A big dream , which is difficult to realized .For a lot of strange reasons ,when i was young ,i want to become a scientist in the future ,and the dream last until i came to WHU university.The dream influence me a lot .It was the motivation of my progress .Changes were suffering,you should face a lot of unexpected things .Whenever i want to give up,the dream will present in my mind ,and tell me if i give up, i’ll never make my dream come true.So, i succeed in my first change and have a good result in my second change.
But it is really a difficult dream ,i have ever told myself in my senior school period,if i went to University of of Science and Technology of china or Tsinghua University,maybe i will realize my dream someday.But at lest ,i failed.
When i take the first footstep to WHU, i began to rethink the dream, weather can i realize my dream in this university? If i really want to become a scientist now ? What i really want ? Who i really want to become? These question took me a lot of time,almost one year.It was still a very suffering period ,because i lost my direction.I was experiencing a hard time which i have experienced twice in my junior and senior high school. After a long time thinking, i give up the dream , and reforming a new dream ,which is more suitable to me ,which is more realistic.
Suffering means growing up. the period is over, i refind my direction,and will stick to it in the following 3 years.
Last but not least topic!
Love ?
In the first topic i have said i made second change for my inner dream ,for her ,for future .Why for her ? Who is her?
That’s about love. Maybe it is not precise , just i love her ,she has never fell in love with me. She was the only girl that i fell in love with in my senior high school period. In that time ,i have no friends ,my study was poor, i was always criticized by teacher in front of all my classmates.For all of this reason, i received none of my classmates’ respect, so did her.
When i said to her i love her and want to became her boyfriend, she refused me directly.
That was a fail, but not totally a fail!
Although it give me a lot of sorrow , and give me an unhappy senior high school time. But at the same time ,i learned a lot from it.
Tell the truth , i love the girl very much, i cared about her every words on me , i cared about her every reaction on me. The reason that i was badly hurt is my caring. From then ,i understand that people just can be hurt by what he care about, the more deeply he is hurt , the more he care about it . From then, i learned to be indifferent to something , i learned to protect myself.
Time went to college , love came to me again. This time is different ,a girl who i have known for a long time express her love to me and want me be her boyfriend . At the beginning ,i didn’t receive it. As times go by , i gradually fell in love with her ,but not same as before to the former girl. I’ll never addict to the love,for avoiding badly hurt ,for protecting myself.
It was a unforgettable time, we all very happy, but after we fall in love for six month , we found we were not suit to each other, for values of life,for dreams ,for character. So , our love went to end peacefully,no quarrel ,no crying!
We were both hurt , i don’t know how deep she was hurt. but as for me, i was hurt ,but not badly hurt. It was easy for me to get out of shadow, and begin my life normally.
Hurt can also make people growing up. We should say thank you to the people who hurt us.
With out them ,we can never growing up!
All three topic(topics) were end, just three topics ,just about senior , just about college, and just about senior to college.
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