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Where Is Sally

发布时间：2015-10-19 16:54:48 作者：若拙  发布者：ruozhuo 浏览次数：4019  类别：英文作文  

Where Is Sally

 

 There are four members who include my husband, Sally, Tim and me in our family. Sally is my daughter and Tim is my son. Sally is 9 years old and her brother is only 7 years old. They are very friendly. They together go to school and play after school every day.

Our private garden is their active place in which they enjoy themselves.

To mention the garden that is a very beautiful one thought it isn’t large enough. We have got a prize named The Most Creative Garden in our town every year for it. There are many nice views in it, which is designed specially by my husband who spends a lot of time in gardening. So there are many tourists who often come here too.

    There will be a small hill which is built by many race stones in your sight when you stand at the gate of the garden. There is a cascade on the hill dropping into a peaceful pond where there are a few flowers and all kinds of gold fish going from place to place .Along the right of the hill goes a road to a small bamboo forest from which you will smell fresh air. When you are going ahead straight, the blooming flowers on both sides of the winding path will nod with smile to you, which will make you dizzy. The red are rose, the pink ones are sally and the yellow ones are chrysanthemum and act.

Turning left you enter the children’s area. There are few trees and a large green land. It’s a sea of green. There is a swing oohing, a seesaw and a slide .If you sit on them you might think about your childhood.

After being around a circle, you will return to the gate again.

Sometimes tourists play with my children. They hide my children in a place where I can’t easily found them scared.

Few days ago I was cocking in the chicken. “Mum, my sister was not in my sight. I couldn’t look for her long time.” Suddenly Tim shouted with cries at me in the tree. “What’s the matter”? I was saying and I was running out in a hurry from the chicken in which a pot of dark soup was braising. He laughed at me while looking me. Actually, Sally was soaked herself in reading book under the tree which Tim climbs. She read so hard that she didn’t see a dog that was running after a cat around her. Even she also can’t hear the noise which a man sold ice-cream What didn’t he see!. He played a joke on me. I was cheated.

Ha Ha….. How lovely two babies are!

 

• 批改教师：王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
  批改时间：2015/10/29 16:43:58
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  Where Is Sally

  
  

  There are four members in our family ,^{who include my husband, Sally, Tim and me (I)}（定语从句可以放到后面，避免英语中前置定语过长）. Sally is my daughter and Tim is my son. Sally is 9 years old and her brother is only 7 years old. They are very friendly. They go to school ^together and play after school every day.

  Our private garden is their active place （想表达“乐园”用fairyland）in which they enjoy themselves.

  To mention the garden that is a very beautiful one thought it isn’t large enough （想表达“花园不大，但很美丽”可以用Although our garden isn't big enough,it is very beautiful）. We have got (won) a prize named The Most Creative Garden in our town every year for it. There are many nice views (sceneries风景) in it, which is ^specially designed by my husband who spends a lot of time in gardening. So there are many tourists （visitors，许多人到你的花园旅游吗？确切地说是“参观”）who often come here too.

  There will be (is) a small hill （想表达“假山”用rockery）in your sight when you stand at the gate of the garden,^{which is built (piled，假山是堆起来的，不是建造起来的) by many race stones.} There is a cascade on the hill (rockery) dropping into a peaceful pond where there are a few flowers and all kinds of gold (golden) fish going from place to place.Along the right of the hill (rockery) goes (is) a road to a small bamboo forest from which you will smell （感觉用feel更文雅一点）fresh air. When you are going ^straight ahead , the blooming flowers on both sides of the winding path will nod to you ^{with smile}, which will makes you dizzy (dizzy的意思是“头晕目眩”，十足的贬义词。想表达“陶醉”用intoxicate). The red ^flowers are rose, the pink ones are sally and the yellow ones are chrysanthemum and act (so on).

  Turning left you enter (is) the children’s area. There are few trees and a large greenland. It’s a sea of green. There is a swing oohing, a seesaw and a slide .If you sit on them you might think about （用be reminded of更好）your childhood.

  After being around a circle, you will return to the gate again.

  Sometimes tourists (visitors) play with my children. They hide my children in a place where I can’t easily found them scared.

  Few days ago I was cocking (cook烹饪，cock作动词说是“使竖起；使耸立，使朝上”) in the chicken (kichen厨房，chicken小鸡). “Mum, my sister was not in my sight. I couldn’t look for (find) her long time.” Suddenly Tim shouted with cries at (to) me in the tree. “What’s the matter”? I was saying (said) and I was running (ran) out in a hurry from the chicken (kichen) in which (leaving，这里用现在分词作伴随状语了) a pot of dark soup ^that was braising. He laughed at me while looking me. Actually, Sally was soaked herself in reading book under the tree which Tim climbs. She read so hard （这个地方应该用was so deligence，她太勤奋了以至于……）that she didn’t see a dog that was running after a cat around her. Even she also can’t hear the noise which (from) a man solding ice-cream What didn’t he see!. He played a joke on me. I was cheated.

  Ha Ha….. How lovely two babies are!

  文章充满了生活气息，尤其是那句I was cocking in the chicken.更是笑点百出，戏谑不已。