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批改教师:刘泳通 ( 广东省 >> 河源市 >> 源城区 >> 新江街道 )
批改时间:2017/3/30 20:01:25
点评指数:
点评内容:
With the development of science and technology, mobile reading
is becoming more and more popular. People like to read a series of article by
mobile phone, such as novels, jokes, news, and so on. The reason why mobile
reading becomes more popular can be as follows:
First of all, it is more convenient for us to read by mobile
phone than read book. We can easily find what we need through our mobile phone.
What’s more, with time goes by(用词不当,建议将with time goes改为as time goes),there is an increase in books and mobile phone
function, mobile phone takes the place of the book. Last but not least, mobile
reading is more suitable for modern society.
As far as I’m concerned, I prefer to read by mobile phone than
read book, because I have a wide range of interests. As a result, mobile reading
may satisfy my need and make me happy.
句式变化多样,句法方面做的很棒;文中词汇表达灵活多样,也能较好的使用部分****词汇;采用了适当的衔接手法,层次清晰。
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批改教师:王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
批改时间:2017/5/1 20:01:09
点评指数:
点评内容:
With the development of science and technology, reading on the moble phones(在手机上进行的阅读,介词on代表逻辑,“在……上”) is becoming more and more popular (popular这个词太普通了,可用prevalent). People like to read a series of articles by
mobile phone such as (前面没有逗号,for example在句中前后都用逗号) novels, jokes, news, and so on. The reason why mobile
reading becomes more popular can be (go) as follows:
First of all, it is more convenient for us to read by mobile
phone than read book. through which (合并成一个定语从句可增加结构复杂性,through which也可以改为where)We can easily find what we need through our mobile phone.
What’s more, with time goes by, since (加这个词变成原因状语从句,英语里一句话只有一个主句,如果两句话并列用and)there is an increase in books and mobile phone
function, mobile phone takes the place of the book. Last but not the least, mobile
reading is more suitable (suitable普通用词,为了多掌握同义词,可用appropriate) for modern society.
As far as I’m concerned, I prefer to read by mobile phone than
read book because I have a wide range of interests. As a result, mobile reading
may satisfy my need and make me happy.
这篇文章总体上还是不错的,给你指出的都是可以进一步提高的地方。希望好好加油,力争一次性通过大学四级或者专业四级考试。
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批改教师:汤超然 ( 云南省 >> 昆明市 >> 西山区 )
批改时间:2019/7/29 13:48:49
点评指数:★★★
点评内容:
With the development of science and technology, mobile reading
is becoming more and more popular. People like to read a series of articles by
mobile phone, such as novels, jokes, news, and so on. The reasons why mobile
reading becomes more popular can be as follows:
First of all, it is more convenient for us to read by mobile
phone than reading book. We can easily find what we need through our mobile phone.
What’s more, with time goes by, there is an increase in books and mobile phone
function, mobile phone takes the place of the book. Last but not least, mobile
reading is more suitable for modern society.
As far as I’m concerned, I prefer to read by mobile phone than
read book, because I have a wide range of interests. As a result, mobile reading
may satisfy my need and make me happy。
点评:本文行为流畅,紧扣题意,阐述了自己对于mobile reading的看法,并能恰当运用****语法项目,但存在少许语法错误,可确定为一类中作文,最终得分:23分(满分25分)