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life of the National Day
发布时间:2017-10-10 20:39:45 作者:罗小玉  发布者:201620201223 浏览次数:3347  类别:英文作文   优秀指数:
[大学二年级]


Qn the National Day,my parents and i attended my sister wedding.In the early morning.we were already on Meishan waiting for the wedding start .We were lucky that the weather was fine that day.The wedding very successful.It was the most exciting moment that i have ever experienced.I will never forget the mement.
教师点评:
  • 批改教师:曹小燕 ( 重庆市 >> 沙坪坝区 >> 大学城 >> 重庆师范大学 )
    批改时间:2017/11/1 22:46:27
    点评指数:
    点评内容:

    Qn(On) the National Day,my parents and i (I) attended my sister(sister's) wedding,which made us happy greatly.In the early morning.(,)we were already on Meishan waiting for the wedding start .We were lucky that the weather was fine that day.of course,The wedding very successful.(可以多写点婚礼的过程或内容,使文章更细致生动,也增加了字数)It was the most exciting moment that i have ever experienced.I will never forget the mement.

     

      文章题目或许可以改成有关婚礼的更接近主题,一些从句用得很好,希望可以多用点复杂点结构的句子。还有一些单词的小问题可能是打错了。物主代词的书写若不是手误要好好去记一下。文章太短,描写过于简单,另外在文章多用一些连接性的词语或短语有利于句子的衔接,也增加一些格调。最后多记单词,尽量用知道的高级词汇替换简单词汇。


  • 批改教师:汤超然 ( 云南省 >> 昆明市 >> 西山区 )
    批改时间:2019/7/29 13:42:42
    点评指数:
    点评内容:

    Qn the National Day,my parents and i attended my sister wedding.In the early morning.we were already on Meishan waiting for the wedding start .We were lucky that the weather was fine that day.The wedding very successful.It was the most exciting moment that i have ever experienced.I will never forget the mement.

    点评:语法错误多,部分句子略僵硬,可确定为三类上作文,最终得分:13分(满分25分)

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